Setting Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are vital to the success of all relationships. From business partners to best friends, parents to romantic partners, healthy boundaries are needed to establish a border between where you end and another person begins. Boundaries are used to establish limits that protect your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. When boundaries are too fluid (or non-existent) you may find yourself drained by giving more of yourself (emotional or financially) than you are able to spare. If you are the type of person who can not say no to others’ requests, or feel terribly guilty when doing so; you may have weak or non-existent boundaries. Similarly, when boundaries are too rigid, you may find yourself closed off from others, unable to establish close and meaningful relationships. If you find yourself unable to trust others, or unwilling to share yourself in a healthy and moderate way; your boundaries may be too rigid.

Loose boundaries are a recipe for drama, and rigid boundaries are a recipe for loneliness. Our goal is to find a middle ground in establishing healthy boundaries that serve our highest good and our greatest wellness. Here are a few things to consider when embarking on a journey to set healthy boundaries for yourself and your life:

  • It is OK to say no to others’ requests. Take time to consider the request before answering. Calculate the risks to yourself and others. If you find the sacrifice is too great, you will know you have the right to say no.
  • Remember to take time out for yourself. There are times when we must give more of ourselves than we think we can. For example, a loved one may fall ill and need your support, or your spouse may be laid off and depend on you to pull the family through hard financial times. Still, it is important that you take at least a few moments out of every day to pamper yourself.  Try a 5 minute morning meditation, or a brisk 10 minute walk in the evening, or take a relaxing 20 minute bath before bed. Find a routine that works for you and stick to it!
  • Seek professional or spiritual counseling, and/or read a few articles or books on creating healthy boundaries. If you feel a lack of healthy boundaries is significantly impacting your life, I highly recommend consulting an expert. It never hurts to seek the guidance of a relationship specialist. Do a Google search for books on boundaries, or for relationship counselors in your area.

Make your own “Boundary Bag” talisman

Directions: Mix two or more of the following stones, and two or more of the following herbs in a small red pouch. Hold the talisman in your hands and speak your intention in creating this “Boundary Bag”. Keep the talisman in your pocket or wear it around your neck whenever you need a boost of confidence, self-love, courage, protection, energy, and power.

Stones: Lapis Lazuli, Celestite, Aquamarine, Turquoise, Garnet, Blue Tiger Eye, Gold Tiger Eye, Blue Calcite, Labradorite

Herbs: Dragon’s Blood, Rosemary, Coriander Seed, Cardamon, Juniper Berry, Hibiscus

Tip: Add a piece of clear Quartz Crystal, and a leaf of White Sage to the “Boundary Bag” to keep your talisman cleansed and purified.

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Natural Laundry Liquid

Have you ever wanted to make your own laundry detergent? It’s easier than you think! In preparation gather up large empty containers from old detergent, or even Juice bottles. All you need to get started is one bar of pure castile soap, washing soda, borax, water, and essential oils. All these items can be purchased at the grocery store with the exception of essential oil. Step one: Grate the bar of castile soap into a sauce pot with a cheese grater, add four cups HOT water and melt it down to liquid. Pour this into a sanitized five gallon bucket. Add 1 cup washing soda and 1/2 c Borax. Stir it up good and fill the rest of the way with water. Allow this bucket to completely cool before adding the essential oils.
Now we have five gallons of double strength detergent. Remember, this recipe makes ten gallons total so when it’s time to package only fill containers half full and top off with water. It’s time to add essential oils.  I strongly warn against using anything but PURE essential oils.  Diluted fragrance oils will stain clothing.

Use oils like  lemon, peppermint, tea tree, and lavender which are antiseptic, will repel moths,  plus aid in the cleansing process.  Eucalyptus essential oil kills dust mites and repels spiders.  To remove grease stains and smells from clothes, use orange oil in the mix.  Use about fifty to seventy drops total added directly to your double strength five gallon bucket, perhaps 10-12 drops each of six or seven oils.  Feel free to use only a combination of two or three just make sure the total added is equal to fifty to seventy drops.  After stirring the bucket thoroughly, use a pitcher to fill containers half way with concentrated soap and top off with water.  Now you have ten gallons of laundry detergent for a fraction of the store-bought price! By cutting costs like this you’ll have more  money to spend at Earth Lore on your essential oils!!! Namaste.

Hiddenite – Exposed!

Hiddenite

Hiddenite (Green Kunzite)

Hiddenite (aka Green Kunzite) is the gemstone form of spodumene, varying in color from a translucent light yellow-green to emerald.

This is an excellent stone for anyone who is faced with indecision or uncertainty.  Hiddenite’s energy is an excellent revealer of that which is concealed, either by accident or design, as it eases transfer of knowledge from outside sources.  This often manifests as conventional knowledge (books, television, other people, etc), but can also facilitate realizations from higher or ‘collective’ knowledge.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a little insight into things sometimes?  This month, we’re going to learn how to call for a sign.

A Practice for Calling Insight

1 Blue Candle
1 Piece of Hiddenite
1 Small Candle Holder (or small Dish)

  1. Find a quiet place, with no distractions.
  2. As always, cleanse your area and materials with white sage smoke (or any other method you’re comfortable with)
  3. Turn the lights down, and sit on the floor with your materials.
  4. Visualize the situation you are seeking insight about.  Narrow it down to a single mental image that seems to best sum it up.  Take your time with this – the clearer the image, the better results you will have.
  5. Place your hiddenite in the bottom of the candle holder.
  6. With the image firmly in mind, light the blue candle.  Drip wax from the lit candle into the bottom of the candle holder until the Hiddenite is completely covered.
  7. While the wax is still hot and with the candle lit, push the bottom of the candle down in to the puddle so that it stays upright and in place.
  8. Visualize the blue candle as a beacon, amplifying the hiddenite energy to draw in knowledge of the situation you ‘programmed’ into it.  Burn the candle until it begins to drip, then blow it out.  Do not smother the candle to put it out in this case.
  9. Each night, light the candle for just a few minutes until it begins to drip again, then blow it out.  Do this only once per night.  Each time you do this, you repeat the call for insight.
  10. Watch closely for signs or omens – they can be obvious or cryptic, internal or external, and manifest just about anywhere.  Most importantly, be prepared for the insight when you receive it!

Earth Lore carries hiddenite, as well as all of the other materials mentioned!

Discover Your Animal Totems

Totem Animals

Totem Animals

There is much that can be learned from our companions in the animal kingdom. Every animal has strengths and weaknesses, talents and habits that help us to learn more about ourselves by studying their example. You’ll be happy to know that just as every person has a multitude of personality traits, they also have many animal totems. There are those animals that stay with us for just a short time, while we overcome an obstacle in our lives. There are also who will walk (fly, crawl or swim) with us through life. How do you know which animals are calling to you? This article is just a short description on how to discover some of  your totems. There are not only many, many books written on this subject but also oral traditions that vary from tribe to tribe across the world. Most of the information I’ve compiled comes from Ted Andrews book, “Animal Speak.” It is a great resource for anyone interested in learning more on the subject of Animal Totems.

Totem Discovery Meditation

Enter a space where you will not be interrupted, a secluded spot somewhere in nature would be best but is not mandatory. Relax by taking several deep breaths. Clear your mind.  Begin by lighting a white “Spirit” votive or pillar with the focus of finding one of your animal totems in the forethought of your mind. You may even want to ask Great Spirit or God to bless you and oversee the meditation with divine guidance.

Sitting comfortably, begin to visualize a landscape. Some people will see themselves in a forest; others the desert or sea. It’s okay. Don’t worry that you are “making things up.” Imagination is a gift and a tool. Whatever comes to you is has entered your mind for a reason. Trust this guidance. However it is important to not have any preconceived totems in mind. Let your animal choose you. As you wander your landscape, note the time of day or night. Is it chilly or  can you feel the warm sun shining on you? What do you smell? What do you hear? As you continue your  walk  allow yourself to be open to whatever creatures come to you. Don’t discount the tiny creatures like ants and spiders. Don’t forget to look in the trees or sky. If you feel compelled to turn over a leaf or crawl in a cave, do so.

You will come upon an living creature. This is one of your totems.  Introduce yourself. Do not force interaction, simply let the moment settle in. Thank this totem for making its self known to you. When you are ready begin to come back to a state of consciousness and open your eyes.

Now that you know one of your animal totems, begin your research! Animals can teach us so much about ourselves and how we react to others if we would simply listen. Some things to ponder: Where does this animal live, what does it eat, what eats it? What kind of shelter does it seek? The more you learn about your animal the better. It is important to establish a link to your totem not just through learning about its habits but also learning about its place in mythological lore. To gain a stronger link to this animal you should also have small talismans (like a found feather or bone… however if that isn’t possible at the time being, hanging pictures of it or small carved stones work too). You can keep these on your person or in the areas of your home or work that seem most appropriate. Earth Lore carries small carved stones of many different animals starting at $3.95. We also have a selection of larger statues available for altar use. Having reminders of your totems will greatly increase your connection to these animals. Also, be sure to check out our new and used books about totems, shamanism and animal lore.

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