Setting Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are vital to the success of all relationships. From business partners to best friends, parents to romantic partners, healthy boundaries are needed to establish a border between where you end and another person begins. Boundaries are used to establish limits that protect your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. When boundaries are too fluid (or non-existent) you may find yourself drained by giving more of yourself (emotional or financially) than you are able to spare. If you are the type of person who can not say no to others’ requests, or feel terribly guilty when doing so; you may have weak or non-existent boundaries. Similarly, when boundaries are too rigid, you may find yourself closed off from others, unable to establish close and meaningful relationships. If you find yourself unable to trust others, or unwilling to share yourself in a healthy and moderate way; your boundaries may be too rigid.

Loose boundaries are a recipe for drama, and rigid boundaries are a recipe for loneliness. Our goal is to find a middle ground in establishing healthy boundaries that serve our highest good and our greatest wellness. Here are a few things to consider when embarking on a journey to set healthy boundaries for yourself and your life:

  • It is OK to say no to others’ requests. Take time to consider the request before answering. Calculate the risks to yourself and others. If you find the sacrifice is too great, you will know you have the right to say no.
  • Remember to take time out for yourself. There are times when we must give more of ourselves than we think we can. For example, a loved one may fall ill and need your support, or your spouse may be laid off and depend on you to pull the family through hard financial times. Still, it is important that you take at least a few moments out of every day to pamper yourself.  Try a 5 minute morning meditation, or a brisk 10 minute walk in the evening, or take a relaxing 20 minute bath before bed. Find a routine that works for you and stick to it!
  • Seek professional or spiritual counseling, and/or read a few articles or books on creating healthy boundaries. If you feel a lack of healthy boundaries is significantly impacting your life, I highly recommend consulting an expert. It never hurts to seek the guidance of a relationship specialist. Do a Google search for books on boundaries, or for relationship counselors in your area.

Make your own “Boundary Bag” talisman

Directions: Mix two or more of the following stones, and two or more of the following herbs in a small red pouch. Hold the talisman in your hands and speak your intention in creating this “Boundary Bag”. Keep the talisman in your pocket or wear it around your neck whenever you need a boost of confidence, self-love, courage, protection, energy, and power.

Stones: Lapis Lazuli, Celestite, Aquamarine, Turquoise, Garnet, Blue Tiger Eye, Gold Tiger Eye, Blue Calcite, Labradorite

Herbs: Dragon’s Blood, Rosemary, Coriander Seed, Cardamon, Juniper Berry, Hibiscus

Tip: Add a piece of clear Quartz Crystal, and a leaf of White Sage to the “Boundary Bag” to keep your talisman cleansed and purified.

Discover Your Animal Totems

Totem Animals

Totem Animals

There is much that can be learned from our companions in the animal kingdom. Every animal has strengths and weaknesses, talents and habits that help us to learn more about ourselves by studying their example. You’ll be happy to know that just as every person has a multitude of personality traits, they also have many animal totems. There are those animals that stay with us for just a short time, while we overcome an obstacle in our lives. There are also who will walk (fly, crawl or swim) with us through life. How do you know which animals are calling to you? This article is just a short description on how to discover some of  your totems. There are not only many, many books written on this subject but also oral traditions that vary from tribe to tribe across the world. Most of the information I’ve compiled comes from Ted Andrews book, “Animal Speak.” It is a great resource for anyone interested in learning more on the subject of Animal Totems.

Totem Discovery Meditation

Enter a space where you will not be interrupted, a secluded spot somewhere in nature would be best but is not mandatory. Relax by taking several deep breaths. Clear your mind.  Begin by lighting a white “Spirit” votive or pillar with the focus of finding one of your animal totems in the forethought of your mind. You may even want to ask Great Spirit or God to bless you and oversee the meditation with divine guidance.

Sitting comfortably, begin to visualize a landscape. Some people will see themselves in a forest; others the desert or sea. It’s okay. Don’t worry that you are “making things up.” Imagination is a gift and a tool. Whatever comes to you is has entered your mind for a reason. Trust this guidance. However it is important to not have any preconceived totems in mind. Let your animal choose you. As you wander your landscape, note the time of day or night. Is it chilly or  can you feel the warm sun shining on you? What do you smell? What do you hear? As you continue your  walk  allow yourself to be open to whatever creatures come to you. Don’t discount the tiny creatures like ants and spiders. Don’t forget to look in the trees or sky. If you feel compelled to turn over a leaf or crawl in a cave, do so.

You will come upon an living creature. This is one of your totems.  Introduce yourself. Do not force interaction, simply let the moment settle in. Thank this totem for making its self known to you. When you are ready begin to come back to a state of consciousness and open your eyes.

Now that you know one of your animal totems, begin your research! Animals can teach us so much about ourselves and how we react to others if we would simply listen. Some things to ponder: Where does this animal live, what does it eat, what eats it? What kind of shelter does it seek? The more you learn about your animal the better. It is important to establish a link to your totem not just through learning about its habits but also learning about its place in mythological lore. To gain a stronger link to this animal you should also have small talismans (like a found feather or bone… however if that isn’t possible at the time being, hanging pictures of it or small carved stones work too). You can keep these on your person or in the areas of your home or work that seem most appropriate. Earth Lore carries small carved stones of many different animals starting at $3.95. We also have a selection of larger statues available for altar use. Having reminders of your totems will greatly increase your connection to these animals. Also, be sure to check out our new and used books about totems, shamanism and animal lore.

Snowflake Obsidian: The Warrior Stone

Are you a Paranormal Investigator, or a parent with young children to protect? Do you have a competitive profession,  or feel as though negativity has taken over your workplace or home? At some point in our lives we will be faced with adversity, negativity, or evil of some form. In any case, be sure you are prepared with the right protection talisman. My number one suggestion is Snowflake Obsidian.

Snowflake Obsidian is a Black Obsidian stone with inclusions of Phenocryst, a white-gray mineral. This mineral resembles a snowflake pattern when the stone is polished, hence the name Snowflake Obsidian. Obsidian is formed volcanically when lava rich in silicic acid rapidly cools. The lava hardens so quickly that no crystalline structures are able to form. The result is an amorphous molten mass containing large amounts of solidified minerals, water, and gas inclusions. This explains why Obsidian is also known as Volcanic Glass.

Because of its volcanic origins, Obsidian is often associated with the Hawaiian volcano goddess, Pele. Pele is a fierce, wrathful warrior who is believed to have the power of turning her enemies to stone. It is the warrior aspect of Pele that concerns us with respect to Snowflake Obsidian and its protective powers. Like Pele, Snowflake Obsidian has the strong energy of a warrior prepared to ward off all evil and negative influences from the wearer. Simply holding a piece of Snowflake Obsidian in your auric field wil create a powerful shield between you and any undesirable energies or negative forces. However, a powerful warrior needs more than just a protective shield. To that end, Snowflake Obsidian aids in maintaining clear mental focus, and emotional well-being. It is a stone of pure intention as a good warrior always has a pure heart and works for the highest good of the universe. Snowflake Obsidian is also an excellent grounding stone, aiding the wearer in maintaining balance and moderation at all times.

Un-Crossing

Un-Crossing

Un-Crossing

Do you feel stuck and unable to move forward in your career, love life, or finances? If so, you are not alone. There are many people experiencing this “stuck” feeling, to varying degrees.  Whether you believe it’s a karmic debt you are paying off, a past-life issue, a spell cast upon you, or plain old bad judgment and poor planning on your part…the feeling of being stuck in a rut is the same: You feel tired, hopeless, frustrated with yourself and others, and angry with yourself and others. The feeling is there when you wake up in the morning, it hangs around all day, and is with you when you go to sleep (if you can sleep). For those of you struggling to regain your power and confidence to move forward, I humbly offer this “Un-Crossing Oil” recipe as one small step you can take on your path to freedom.

What is an “Un-Crossing” Oil?

Un-Crossing Oil is a powerful blend of natural herbs and essential oils that promote positive energy and protection, aid in manifesting one’s desires, enhance self-confidence, and help one be the “master” of one’s own destiny. If you are looking to change your luck or break a “spell”, this is the oil to use! This oil can be used as a daily personal fragrance, or burned in an aroma diffuser. You may also add some fragrance to a spray bottle filled with water and use it as a daily ritual mist.

Un-Crossing Oil Recipe

In a 1/2  oz. vial mix the following:

5 drops Bergamot Oil

10 drops Geranium Oil

5 drops Rosemary Oil

5 drops Vetivert Oil

(Note: Essential Oils work best for this blend.)

A pinch of Myrrh Resin

A pinch of dried Rue Herb

One tiny piece of Clear Quartz Crystal

Directions: Clear yourself and space of negative energy by burning a few leaves of White Sage.  Burn one white candle for purification and one black candle for protection. Focus on your intentions for making this oil blend. Slowly put the ingredients above into your glass vial.  Fill the remaining part of the vial with a Grapeseed or Jojoba base oil. Shake well. Write your full name on the bottle with a permanent marker. Put a small drop of oil on your 3rd Eye Chakra and say a prayer/affirmation of freedom and abundance of your choosing. Your oil is now charged and ready for daily use.

(Recommendation: This is now your personal Un-Crossing Oil with your name on it, infused with YOUR energy and intentions. I do not recommend using it on friends and family. Even if they are experiencing the same feelings and issues as you, I highly recommend they make their own personal oil and infuse it with their own energy for better results.)


Break the chains! Many blessings on your path to freedom, and thank you for sharing our Earth lore newsletter.

Chiastolite – The Cross-Stone

Chiastolite

Chiastolite

The name ‘chiastolite’ derives from the Greek chiastos meaning “cross marked” – its most distinctive feature being that it appears with the shape of (you guessed it!) a cross formed from graphite in the stone itself.

Chiastolite is a very protective stone – historically, the cross-shape was said to ward off the ‘evil eye’, or the negative intentions/influences of others.  Overall, in fact, the stone exhibits a number of very protective qualities – but unlike many other protective stones, chiastolite’s energy focuses as much on resolving underlying problems as it does protecting you from the more obvious ones.

A Simple Practice for Releasing Negativity

Most protective practices ‘repel’ negative energy – not allowing it to attach itself to you, but not necessarily getting rid of it.  We can use chiastolite in this practice for those who want a slightly more positive approach!

As with all practices that involve stones or other physical objects, I recommend cleansing your materials prior to using them with white sage smoke.

  1. After cleansing for the first time, begin carrying your chiastolite, in your pocket or purse, wherever you are likely to run into a source of negativity or conflict.
  2. When you encounter the source of the conflict, grasp the stone in your hand and squeeze as hard as you can.  Feel the disruptive energy associated with the situation pass from the source, through you, and back out into the stone.  It is best to do this during, or soon after, the situation in question.
  3. At this point, the negative energy generated by the situation is trapped safely within the stone.
  4. Later, when you have the opportunity to do so, take the stone out of your pocket and, taking the deepest possible breath, submerge it in running water (Rivers and natural bodies of running water are best, but the sink works perfectly well for this.  Avoid sources of water that recirculate, like fountains).
  5. Keeping the stone submerged, slowly let out your breath and allow the energy trapped in the stone to be carried away by the living water.
  6. Repeat as necessary!

Earth Lore, of course, carries chiastolite stones at both stores, as well as white sage.

%d bloggers like this: